Mixed feelings now.. Sad, worried, happy...
Can't stop thinking of him. I am so sad. I don't know anything about him now. Is his study good?? Stress?? Everything going alright for him?? I don't know what to do. Can't contact him. After some time, then he will think i no feeling for him so he will still treat me as friend. At least being his friend, sometimes i get to talk to him, know some of his problem and whether he is happy or sad...Maybe i still got a chance to go out with him as a friend... Just can't forgot everything we been through, everything he teach me.
I am worried whether he really got a girlfriend. I don't want him to hold other girl's hand, hug or even kiss... I don't want that to happen. What about me if you do those stuff?? Here i miss your hand, i want your hug, i need your kisses. Can't stop thinking what is he doing now?? Out with girlfriend?? Maybe at his house?? Hugging or kissing each other?? Maybe that girl might just took over me. Doing everything i once did with him. He say kiera is my son. Now?? Is he still mine??
Happy the day i recover is drawing nearer day by day. Mean i can see him soon. I am still dreaming about what we will be when i really get back him. Talking to my beloved bao zheng to try out things we might do again. I just need his hug again. Just right for me, always have a smell. A smell i never forget because only he have it. Never come across guys have that smell.
Today went out with papa and mama. Suddenly not feeling well. Head very pain, feel like vomit. Went home immediately. Sad sia. A day where i can go out ruin. Went back home to rest and i am feeling better. Going try my luck again and ask papa and mama to bring me out again. Just can't waste such a day that only come once a week.