Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Yeah going to blog some pictures. =D
Is at my room's door. Who remember???
Is me!! Feel boring so took it. Too bad can't see the clothing...
Lalalalala me again ^^
So into pocky now...
^^ My favourites. Yeah=)
Breakfast ^-^
Medicine i take...
Haha. How my photography skills?? Not bad right. Actually i never take so many medicine lah. Some bluff bluff only. Hehe ^.^ My mind is full of him... Wonder how i can survive before i recover... All the chrysanthemum tea and apple smell. Haha. Woo his after work smell is weird. OIL!!! Okay what breakfast should i have today??? BREAD!!! HAHA!!
Strange i don't know what to blog le...Empty brain...Today shall do physics. Think about 5 minutes le i still don't know what to blog. Shall blog later or tomorrow. ^^
&&christabel
9:36 AM
Monday, March 30, 2009
So boring so decided to blog again.. Friends around don't worried about me. I am really okay. My life is great i guess. I still got a lot of things to eat.^^ Tomorrow start doing homework le. Yipee at least got something to do. Erm should clean up my house a bit. ^^ Tomorrow going be tired. Hope can wake up early so can get to use the computer before my brother wakes up and snatch from me.
Givan not feeling well lately. Wonder if she is okay. I know you will read my blog givan. Hope you don't make private blog so i still can read. Don't mind share with me right. ^^ I can keep secrets de leh. =D Even make must tell me lah. At least i use computer can still know where to go.
Missing joycelyn. She haven blog leh. All the same old thingy. Boring...
Thinking of money now. If only i can work, i will earn a lot lor. See doctor expensive sia. Got subdized still very ex leh. So xin tong. Once i am okay going work hard so i can pay them back.
Next time i will going to post a lot of photos. Haha let everyone i am really really okay. Let you see my rosy face. Haha i will post picture of me, food i eat, medicine i take [ let you all know how big the pill is scare scare you all ], thing i do and a lots more. =) Wonderful man. WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Maybe add other things purposely like cockcoaches in my house?? Living with me?? Sleeping with me?? MUACKHAHAHAHA!!! I am going be bad girl!!!
La la la la la. Wonder how is he now?? How is his cutie cat?? How he studies?? So miss him...
&&christabel
11:38 PM
I am better now i guess. Thank from friends around keep giving me advice, suggestion and love. I decided so what if he got a new girl, i sick now so i can't do anything about it. Going to get well soon then think about how to get him back. Fine if i am stupid. I just think that i should try to get what i want even if it is going to be difficult. Not going to regret!!
Hold on to the memories now and try get him back next time. ^^ What to do? I am just too stupid. I just love him too much. I am serious in it. Going to miss him soo badly.
Get some homework and must finish it. I can't let what happening affect my future. I must try my best to catch up so i can take end year exam. I will not get lousy marks but good high marks like progress report 1. I want to beat my friend!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaa. Life is so wondeful now with foods around everyday!!! Going to gain lots of kg^^
Friends around must help me and tutor me arh. If can photocopy all the notes and worksheets and let me do. I cannot go school for months must help me okay. Thanks a lot ^^
&&christabel
3:59 PM
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Having the thought i can have my family support. But i am wrong. Overheard them talking on the phone saying all the very bad things about me. Feel so sad so sad. Not going to talk about that here.
Wondering am i fortunate or not. They treat me good. But they didn't think good. Felt a bit that my family are actually despise me. Bringing shame to them.Sad sad sad. At that moment feel like dying.
Went some malay place saw some malay traditional thingy. Remember him saying will wear that and let me see during hari raya. Memories back...
I try to be brave and tell him the truth i still like him. He actually find another girl so soon. It hurt. Is he serious in me in the first place?? Maybe he is just toying around with my feeling... Heartbroken... Why cant my love be enough? Why must i still lose him...
&&christabel
5:35 PM
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Time waits for no one..
&&christabel
4:52 PM
Today was supposed to be a day i will be very happy. But it all ended. Never mind i had a dream. A dream i hoped that it was real. I dream of going out with him happily. No stress, nothing. We walk around, slack at his house like what we used to do. It was so wonderful. Is a gift i guess. A gift for today. Never mind it just a dream. Once i wake up is gone. Reality is cruel.
Going to complain!!!!!!!!!
Why my house is soooooo hot!!! Who will actually sweat at their own house!!!!! And i was only sitting down there. My house is like a pot and everything inside is the food including ME!!! Someone is actually cooking me. OMG. Yesterday after a bath, i sit there and watch tv. Less than 5 minutes, my body is sweating like rainwater falling down.
"Rain rain" go away
Don't come again ever again
Sweating is terrible. =( Make me so irritated so frustrated. Sweat found on my nose, my neck, my leg, my hand, my tummy and between the "drain". (Girls might know what i am talking) EEEKKK so sticky!!! Somemore my fan is full blast!!! Cant take it!! IS MAKING ME GOING CRAZY!!!
&&christabel
12:09 PM
Friday, March 27, 2009
Why cant relationship last?? Why does feeling come and go as they like?? If only i can control my feeling to go away now, i wont be so sad at all. Avoiding me help last time but not now. You is the one that make me fall deep in love with you. Making me wanted to last long with you. Even thought of growing up and going perth together. Now you just like throwing me down the rooftop, crushing hopes and dreams i had with you.
I think of you non-stop. Even when i am sleeping, i dream of being with you. How do you expect me to forget you?? I did tried my best forgetting you. But it doesn't work. I didn't put in enough effort?? BULLSHIT!!!! I occupied my time fully. Sweep the floor, tidy up my room, use the computer, watch television show, keep eating, keep sleeping. I do all these just not to think about you. But whatever i do, indirectly it link to you. Almost all the thing we do, i never do with my ex. That why is so hard. Once you say, "life without you is not impossible, is just miserable." Since you know that, why are you leaving me now??
My mum is right. Guys are mean creatures. Saying "i love you, you the best". ASS!! The next minutes, "feeling disappeared, blah blah blah." They can do a lot of things to make the girl fall in love with him. They can also do anything to make the girl lost feeling or even hate him. Why guys can do it?? Why can't i do that?? If only i can make you love me again, i won't be feeling so depressed.
I really wanted to shut myself in my own world. A world i created. No guys, no relationships, no friends. What for i want a relationship that is sweet for 2-3 months and bitter for 2-3 months. NOT WORTH IT!!!! What for i have friends when i cant tell them my problem. *Friends that already know my problems avoided me...[ * is only for some]
&&christabel
9:34 AM
Thursday, March 26, 2009
It happen. He don't want me anymore. It hurt so much. He going to leave me. I don't know what to do. I try to forget but it is so difficult. Just keep coming back.. "Memories"... I want him but he don't want me anymore. It really hurt although i can feel he going to say it. It hurt a lot a lot a lot. I don't want to face it. The truth SUCKS!!!! I hate the world. I only do one wrong thing why must i lose everything.
Saying feeling disappeared. Why cant he keep it in a box and lock it tight. Why must it let it disappeared. You are my support and you just left. Without you how am i going to face it? How am i going to make through these? Everything seems right with you by my side. How you expect me to forgot all so easily.
I cant go out. Everyday facing walls and ceilings. Mind just run wild bringing the past to me. This time is harder. I cant cry. I cant let my family worry about me. I know at this stage of me have to me happy. But i cant. My eyes hurt a lot. It burnings.
Why cant life just end??!!
&&christabel
9:00 AM
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
3 more days to my third month with baby. I miss him deeply. He seem to change. Maybe not interested in me anymore. Very very sad. Thought we can make through this but it is so difficult. I cant take it anymore. I cant hang on to him anymore. It seem like it is going to sink.
"Can you tell me how much you love me?? Can you don't leave me?? Can you stay here with me?? Can you don't break my heart?? Can you just say you love me and stay with me for a very long long time?? I just wanted to know you love me??"
&&christabel
11:00 PM
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Missing the day i used to had. Going school every morning with baby giving me morning call. Haven go school for 2 days and it was unbearable. I miss all the fun i had with the guys and gals. Everyone been wanted to know what happen but what can i say. Is all my fault. I long for freedom wondering when can i have it back again.
I really miss baby. I haven seen him for more than one weeks. I really want him back. Baby i miss you and i dont want to leave you.
&&christabel
10:49 PM
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Big thing happen and changes my life. I had lost a lot of things and learnt an important lesson. Regreted is what i can say now. It involved a lot of people and i am very sorry. I let you down and i know is very unfair to you.
I seriously in a confused states. I am going to miss my freedom, friends and you. I wonder how long it takes for things to be better. I will miss you guys.
Baby i am sorry. Make you involved in this. I really hope it wont affect your life and study too much.
&&christabel
3:12 AM