Thursday, April 30, 2009
Third Post...
=[ Sad sad. I am so bored at home. Friends all busy with theirs exam and own things. Anyway i start reading le. Haha almost finishing le wor. So sianz lah. Been reading since afternoon, then went for a short nap and start reading again. I am reading about animals. They are so cute. I want to adopt a pet too. But i can't take good care of them. Otherwise my 3 hamsters won't 1 go missing, 2 die.
My house lacking of fruits. No fruits lor. Make me don't know eat what. Only got pears and mango. And i been eating my some times le. Tomorrow going supermarket with mum. Going to purchase fruits. A lot a lot of them. I just love fruits.
I am so bored... :[
&&christabel
9:09 PM
Second Post..
Went out today. I went to hougang mall to borrow some books. So had breakfast at foodcourt. Wasn't that nice i guess. No appettie to finish it so take my own sweet time. Haha=D After that went popular. Wanted to get a cooking book. But all seems so hard to make. I just want a book that teach children how to cook. That should be easy to understand and make. But i couldn't find any of it. Sad sad dissappointed.
Went library then. Got myself a lot of books thank to my mother. Helping me lend some of my book. I get 5 books in total. All interesting topic. Well my mum herself get 2 books. She wanted to learn how to cook. That's was a miracle. I meant she don't know how to read still can borrow 2 books. Wow she is so wondeful. But is the right thing lah because live and learn mah.
I get different types of books. I don't even know whether i will read anort. Haha. =D I didn't get any stories book. I get books about yoga, animals, cooking, pregnancy and diseases. Haha of course almost all cartoon de lah. I see the books got cartoons easier to read mah. ^-^ I must be a very clever person who know almost everything. But that not easy because even i borrow i will be lazy to read.
Anyway went to the toilet. So cold. Once i entered the toilet, i was shivering le lor. Somemore, used toilet need strip more worse. Then washed my hands with super icy cold water. Aww that was horrible. My mum say i am not healthy. Well, i am not healthy. I need see doctor mah so not healthy i don't mind. =D
We really stop contacting each other le. I am bored again. I loved to have companion. I am not so lucky i guess. So so bored...
&&christabel
1:32 PM
I told him that we shouldn't contact each other anymore. I feel that since i am not going to accept him, is not good to keep contacting him unless he can give up. I think is not fair to him.
Althought i like him to accompany me, is still not the right thing to do. So told him just now. I feel that i had hurt him. It doesn't feel good. I never liked to hurt someone's feelings. I am so weak in relationship. Soo soo weak. I am born this way. That's nothing i can do. Felt sad about it. I hope he is okay.
Hope he can find other girls better than me. I am not worth all this. Felt so sorry to him...
&&christabel
1:14 AM
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Hello, YOYOYO =D Morning everyone. Haha!! Bet nobody will actually see this post during morning. Okay that's was sooo sooo sooo lame.
Today had roti prata for breakfast. =D Yummy delicious. Haha i just like the curry. But not hot enough lah. Hehe i ate with my little fingers. Now my fingers all got curry smell. ^-^ I am so bored. So So bored. Left one more day before my phone credit expires. I just hope my bro had bought the top up card. It will be a waste if it just expires lah.
Really very confused. I don't know him or him. Just like what lyn say, one study study de, one music music de. Aiyoyo i very blur. I mean he is good but i can't forget him. Then together also not good mah. Nonono must not give in. I promised givan she will be my darling de lor. Joycelyn can't jealous hor. Is because you got LF i go find givan de.
Anyway i really don't feel like meeting any of my friends right now. And yes including you joycelyn. I meant not in the mood lah. I so tired. I just don't feel like meeting whoever whoever. I just want to be alone. Just treat that i am fat then too shy to meet you okay.
I truly very jealous of joycelyn lor. Her darling so good. Cook for her. Don't know why lah i also feel like cooking. I am learning to cook from my mother le. I know how to fried rice, fried egg, fried fish cake. I only know how to fried. Haha. I want to learn more things. I want to know how to prepared a meal. I go find books about cooking and all is words more than pictures!! My english also not good. So much words i read le, headaches.>_<
Remember once givan, joycelyn, me, zhenyu went givan's house bake cookies. I think i team with givan while joycelyn with zhenyu. Then we bake normal chocolate cookies while they bake m&m cookies. And theirs colours definitely need improvement. I meant m&m cookies have assorted colours. Then when bake, the m&m melts and the colours is horrible lah. >.< Whatever it is, both cookies taste wonderful. Haha that was memorable.
I love cooking. =D =D =D
&&christabel
11:11 AM
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Third Post..
This is from givan's blog. Thank to her, i am wasting my precious time. =.="
1.Real name : Teo Siew Chin.
2. Nickname : Siao Siao.
3. Star sign : Scorpio.
4. Male or female : Female.
5. Primary School : Hougang Primary School.
6. Secondary School : Serangoon Garden Secondary School.
7. JC/Poly : Nanyang Poly.
8. Hair color : Black.
9. Long or short : Not long not short.
10. Loud or Quiet : Both. Depends on my moods.
11. Sweats or Jeans : I don't understand. What's that??
12. Phone or Camera : Phone.
13. Health freak : I eat fruits everyday but i am sick now. Counted??
14. Drink or Smoke? : Drink.
15. Do you have a crush on someone? : No idea.
16. Eat or Drink : Both.
17. Piercings : Yes.
18. Tattoos : No.
HAVE YOU EVER?
19. Been in an airplane : Yes.
20. Been in a relationship : Yea.
21. Been in a car accident : No. Not so unlucky.
22. Been in a fist fight : Forgot.
FIRSTS:
23. First piercing : Ear.
24. First best friend : Forgotten.
25. First award : No idea.
26. First crush : Teo Wei Keat.
Where Qns 27??
28. First vacation : Either Malaysia or Hong Kong.
[Freaking long!!!]
LASTS:
29. Last person you talked to : Mother.
30. Last person you texted : Givan
31. Last person(s) you watched a movie with : Joe.
32. Last food you ate : Laska.
33. Last movie you watched : Most likely Ponyo.=D
34. Last song you listened to : Forgotten.
35. Last thing you bought : Bubble tea. Days ago and i can remembered!!! ^^
36. Last person you hugged : Mother.
FAVES:
37. Food : Any foods that can satisfy my hunger.
38. Drinks : Chysanthemum tea and fruit juice!
39. Clothing : Any type that i liked.
40. Books : Fairytales.
41. Song : Got a few leh.
42. Flower : Chysanthemum. ^.^
43. Colors : Depends on my moods.
44. Movies : Romance, Ghost, Violent, Comedies, Cute.
45. Phrase : No idea.
46. Subjects : Chinese. :D
47. [] Kissed in the snow
48. [x] Celebrated Halloween
49. [x] Had your heart broken
50. [x] Went over the minutes on your cell phone
51. [x] Someone questioned your sexual orientation
52. [x] Came out of the closet
53. [x] Gotten pregnant
54. [] Had an abortion
55. [x] Done something you've regretted
56. [x] Broke a promise
57. [x] Hid a secret
58. [x] Pretended to be happy
59. [x] Met someone who changed your life
60. [x] Pretended to be sick
61. [x] Left the country
62. [x] Tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
63. [x] Cried over the silliest thing
64. [x] Ran a mile
65. [x] Went to the beach with your best friend(s)
66. [x] Stay single the whole year .
CURRENTLY:
67. Eating : Nothing.
68. Drinking : Chysanthemum Tea.=)
69. I'm about ton : Don't understand.
70. Listening to : Nothing.
71. Plans for tomorrow : Nothing.
72. Waiting for : Foods.
YOUR FUTURE:
73. Want kids? : Yes.
74. Want to get married? : Yes.
75. Careers in mind : Air stewardess. But thats is impossible. I can't bear to leave my family. I LOVE THEM!!
76. Lips or eyes : Both.
77. Shorter or taller? : I don't mind.
78. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic.
79. Nice stomach or nice arms : Both.
80. Sensitive or loud : Loud.
81. Hook-up or relationship : Relationship.
82. Trouble-maker or hesitant : Troublemaker.
HAVE YOU EVER :
83. Lost glasses/contacts : Yes, swimming pool.
84. Ran away from home : Feel like doing but no.
85. Hold a gun/knife for self defense : Yes, after the pervert scared me.
86. Killed somebody : Yea, in game.
87. Broken someone's heart : Of course.
88. Been arrested : No i guess.
89. Cried when someone died : My darling and family haven't die. I won't cry for strangers! >.<
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
90. Yourself : Yes.
91. Miracles : Yes.
92. Love at first sight : Yes.
93. Heaven : Yes.
94. Santa Claus : No.
95. Sex on the first date : Yes.
96. Kiss on the first date : Yes.
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Yes.
98. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? : Not really.
99.Do you believe in God? : Sometimes.
100.This is the 100th and last :Question : Do you feel empty ? : No.
NOW TAG 10 PEOPLE TO DO THIS:
-Joycelyn.
-Givan.
-Shayne.
-Tian Soon.
-Tian Long.
-Elton.
-Wei Keat.
-Lim Fei.
-Jian kuo.
-Wilson.
FREAKING LAME!!!!! I MUST BE CRAZY DOING IT!!!
&&christabel
1:29 PM
Second Post..
Waa!!! Is raining. So so big!!! Freaking so scared. The thunder come unexpected!!! =( I was scared a few times by it! Boom boom boom!!! Sob sob... It so scary and cold. My bed was wet. Thank to my DEAREST MUMMY!!! She simply close her own window and take in the clothing. She never help me. My pillow, my clothing hanging on the window, my bed even my handphone is wet. Okay lah not so bad but damp.
Aww my precious leh. I love sleeping mah then now my beloved all damp damp de. Hug le not warm but cold. Luckily my bolster is dry. Otherwise i sure going to cry le. My bolster is my life. Been with me for years!!! Bolster is my great great sweetie + darling + dear + boyfriend + girlfriend + a lot a lot lah. =D
My bolster is good to me. Never leave me alone when i need it. Never make me sad. Never hurt me. When i am sad, my bolster will become tissue paper. =D When i sleeping then saliva come out, my bolster also never complain. ^^ My bolster accompany me during midnight when i watched ghost or violent show and had nightmares. =) My bolster become my "boyfriend" as when i missed my boyfriend, it will become one. ^.^ We been through a lot leh. =D When i young, i even shh shh at it. Haha. It just smell of milk bottle. ^-^ And a bit my smell lah. >_<
I LOVE my bolster!! Yeah!!!
&&christabel
12:43 PM
Yesterday chat with darling. Walao she is so... Okay confirm without me by her side, she become.. Whatever it is, take care kays! So while talking, remind me of the past again. She simply going through what i had gone through. So yesterday sad sad again. Can't help crying... =(
Okay whatever it is. Today a new day. So forget about it lah!! I am addicted to one tea. Maybe not addicted lah but i just love it. If you know me well, yes is chysanthemum tea!!!! Hoho. I just simply love it. Not only the smell but the taste.
Chysanthemum tea crystal have a sweet smelling. Erm it can be addictive wor. Well the tea is so wonderfulling relaxing. Haha!!! I LOVE CHYSANTHEMUM TEA!!! Been drinking for days!!! Hehe^^
My dearest having exam these few days. So sad that they are not free le. So anxious whether they do well. Dearest must jiayou wor. I will support you at home!!! Haha!! I wear mini skirt and use pom pom cheer for all of you!!! Hehe!!!! Must get good marks arh!!!! Except for one person. Just hope you get zero for all subject and drop to normal academic or retain!!!!
I miss my sweeties!!! Love you all =D
&&christabel
10:22 AM
Monday, April 27, 2009
Second Post..
I want to go back to times. I want to be like a primary school kids. Even since i stepped into secondary life, my lifes changed. I want to be ugly. Just like when i am in primary school. Nobody will notice me, like me, chase after me. I will not go into relationship. I will not get hurt. I will not be feeling soo miserable. When must life changed? Isn't better last time. I don't like secondary life. I want to go back times. I regreted. Freaking regretted.
&&christabel
5:15 PM
I am really really pissed. I have no idea why or how i feel this way. I am now soo soo frustrated!! Seeing all the things not what i want!!
I am really very hot. Been sweating and sweating sitting infront of the fan. What the fuck is this weather!!! Well i have consider. I will have a haircut soon. Make it not so thick. Ermm should i change my hairstyle?? Cut a more different ways. =D See first lah. One day when i really can't take it i will go for a haircut.
I am so confused. I like someone to accompany me and talk to me. But i just don't feel like talking to him. He just doesn't seem to be my type. I mean what time he sleep is not the same as mine. He seem to be... I have no idea. Start feeling this way since yesterday. Argh!! I don't know what i want. All i want now is peace. I want to be alone. Totally alone. I want to think craps. I feel i am weird. Thats something wrong with me.
I hate talking to strangers. Especially when i don't know how to say i hate talking to them. But i need to talk to them. I don't know what. Maybe i ... I have never like talking to people i don't know or i don't know well. Thats why i seldom make new friend. Unless that is a need. I mean i just want to talk to people i know well.
I feel like a freak. A freak i wouldn't want to be. Thats nothing wrong with me i guess. But why must i be talk to. Whatever it is i hate now.
&&christabel
2:30 PM
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Yesterday watched [Seed of Chucky]. Okay is not that scary but problem is.. I HAVE PHOBIA ABOUT DUMMY!!!! I have this imagination about dummy. Like they will split their mouth open at midnight and give out a very scary laugh. Like MUACKHAAHAHAHAHA. EEWK!!! So yes i have nightmares!!! Hahaha sort of expecting it. I am a coward. What to do?? Awww that moment wanted someone be there for me, comfort me and hug me. =( Is okay i have my bloster. So hug my darling tight tight. ^^
Someone promised to pei me de!!! That someone is soooo mean!! The show haven't finish, he sleep le. Aiyo.. Never mind joycelyn in the end still accompany me for awhile. =D See i don't rely on guys!!! I have my friends and that enough. I don't need a boyfriend. =D
Got to know joycelyn's latest big news!! Maybe i am outdated but it is frightening. Waa never expect her to be... Well people change i guess.. Haha she grow up. Hope she never forget the piece of advice i given her. NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!!!!!!
That someone been accompany me these few days. I really don't know what to do. Should i, or should i not. I mean he is quite nice but i just don't feel like trusting guys. Somemore it hurts right? Better go by my ways. No means no. But i been messaging him. If suddenly stop, what will he feel?? He say don't mind but i can't really hold on to him but.. Argh!!! Is so confusing. Forget it lah.
Got one chinese words like chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi. English is boat reach bridge will straight. Haha direct translate. My english not good mah. Anyway meaning is i don't know how to say. Ask me in person lah if don't understand...
Hahahahaha=D Love my family and my friends!!
&&christabel
10:44 PM
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Second Post!!
Was talking to someone, chatting around. He very bad lor. Keep bully me. ^^ Never mind i will still win him in the games.
Currently big kor kor introduce me play Blackshot. It was so fun. Sort of counter strike style except it is stealing flag. =D I am not bad okay. My rank is staff sergernt!!!! Muackhahahaha. Actually is my bro account. He let me use so become mine. ^^ Anyway i only help him level once... This games is damm porpular in NYP. Because NYP people everyone got one disc FOC. Haha...
Bang Bang Bang!!!! I am not bad okay. I am good at CHOING ARH!!! Normally team lose because of me. Pro right??!! Haha advestise this games so everyone will play.
I am not good today. I call givan at 2pm plus. She sleeping!! So kana disturb by me. Opss didn't mean it. =D
Joycelyn don't know busy with what! Never talk to her long time!! Tonight will give her a call. Hehe
&&christabel
5:29 PM
Lalala i been daydreaming again. Haha.. Yesterday was chatting on phone with givan. So funny talking to her. She is very busy de lor. A few minute one call, another few minutes one call.
I don't know what to do sia. So boring. I even make myself one big calendar. I am crazy wasting time doing it. But if i don't do something i will be bored to death!!
Time to keep call people le. My phone actually still left $50 plus and is going to expires by 30 april. OMG i only left 5 more days!!! How am i going to finish it. If i don't want it to expires i must top up. Then become $150 plus. Argh!!!!
Going to disturb all my friend le ^^
&&christabel
9:51 AM
Friday, April 24, 2009
Came to blog again. I am so so sad. My tears flow. I am scare very scare. It seem he have new target. I don't want that to happen. I don't want her to have him. I don't want. I hate it. I hate what i see. Please don't like anyone. Please.. Can i do anything about it?? I can't. I can only wish is not true. How am i going to take it!!!!!!!!
I really want him. Really really...
&&christabel
2:45 PM
NOSE BLEED AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Morning just wake up having toilet break when my nose was leaking red water!!! OMG is just like leaking water tap keep drip and drip and drip. My precious blood... I so ke lian liao still nose bleed. My red blood already not enough still nose bleed!!! Wasted so many blood on so many tissue paper. Even my blood hate me. Don't want to be with me. =(
So stuck a tissue paper into my nose and came online. So used to nose bleed liao... Just online when someone came talking to me. ^^ Ya he come with concern asking how am i. So reply i am fine so chat awhile on my problem. Then suddenly asked me a very very unexpected question. OMG!!! I can't believe what i heard. If only he ask that question earlier, ask that question around last year mid. Things won't happen. Maybe i won't be involved in this. Maybe i won't know him. Maybe we won't even start. Maybe i won't be missing him that much now.
What am i talking?? I never regret knowing him, never regret be with him. But is just... regret what i have done. Trust i guess. Trusting a someone, pinning my hopes on him. Fine...is over. I have already throw away all the trust on guys. They just didn't seem to be what they are seem to be.
Why am i so foolish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
&&christabel
2:27 PM
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Life is not really what we expected. Poor givan. Don't be sad anymore. Althought i know you can't help it but what can you really do?? Just hold back your tears and buried those memories. Life still goes on no matter what happen. You sad sad i also sad sad. Never want to cry de lor. Read your blog le feel like hiding under my blanket and cry. But i can't. 24/7 at home my mother sure will worried. =D
Be happy bah. Join my single group. ^^ Save money on phone bills. My phone miraclely last about one month without going bankrupt. I think still got $40 dollars plus leh. Last time not even one month lah. Study hard lah. At least he still talk to you. You are truly better than me a lot a lot le.
I WANT CRY LE!!!!!!
&&christabel
7:44 PM
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
HELL YEAH JOYCELYN AND LIM FEI'S FIRST MONTH!!!
Simply felt happy for them. Anyway i just can't help feeling sad. So long... Never mind life still go on... =D Joycelyn is not good. Keep say i fat, chubby. Am i that fat?? Nono cannot heard you talk crap. Later i go on a diet and got yan shi zheng more worse. Oh well hope you all last long long.
Givan is my best best! She promised to help me with something. I am so grateful. Oh i love you givan!!!!!!!
Having two dreams last night. One is i go out wearing school u with givan and elton. Don't blame me lyn i just never dream of you. Maybe you at limfei's dream.. So had fun with the guys and i met mr oei haha. Never thought of dreaming him too. Well is a lame dream. So second one is about someone sick maybe will die lah blah blah. Don't know what happening. Been dreaming crap nowadays.
Mummy dreams too. Haha her dream is so damm cartoon. Make me laugh like mad. Okay must respect her. Cannot blog about it. Later she angry wor.
I am going crazy!!!!
&&christabel
12:38 PM
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Back to blogging. =D There not much to blog about my life since is always the same. Eat, sleep, go toilet, blah blah blah. Going to happy for friends and sad for other friends.
Joycelyn CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! YOU PASSED 2.4. OMG!!!!! BIG THING!!!! Actually i don't know i high for what. 2.4 is actually quite easy. Something must be wrong with joycelyn not passing it the first time. Lol without me around can't pass?? Okay lah cannot be so bad. Since she so happy must play along lor. ^^
Givan is sick again. Aiyoooyooo!! Must be training she been having. Poor thing.. Hope you get well well soon. Must take care mah like me. Keep eat and sleep eat and sleep. So healthy~~ =D Don't care still must online arh. ^^ Must pei me mah. ^.^ Take care wor.
Lalala no school no school. So boring at home. I want go buy maze book play. Play maze very fun.=D
It been 36 days. My mind don't know fly where le... Must be busy with exam. I guess..
&&christabel
10:43 AM
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Okay i am seriously getting him over my life now. I don't know what he wants. Said we can still be friend but what he is doing is not right. Avoiding me in all ways. Hello, i am a human, i have feelings! So be it. He want me to get out of his life TOTALLY, i will just do it. Even if i can't forget him, still love him, i am not going to contact him anymore. He seriously need to know what he have done. He should just realised how hurt it was. Fine, he is over, he choose it. I give my best shot still... Forget it lah!!!!
Today i was a very very good girl. I help my mummy do a lot of things. First, i prepared lunch for the whole family. I cook fried rice for them. Of course, with my mother's help. =D Felt sooo happy. Because i never prepared a meal for them before. First attempt wasn't that good. Rice is hard. But it taste not bad okay, just a bit hard ^^.
Then i help to sweep the floor. I clean my room, parent's room, living room and kitchen. Bro's room was way too messy, dirty, untidy. They should clear up a bit otherwise no way i am going to clean up for them.=) But sadly, =*( while cleaning up, i hurt myself. My left thumb bleed because i was too careless. Hitting the chair just hurt. But hitting the chair with the broom squishing my thumb. OUCH!!! My precious blood...
Never mind. I should be more strong. I am a NPCC cadet okay. Strong so no tears. ^-^
But i don't feel strong nowadays. I feel weak. I feel weird all over my body. Sometimes i feel that i have headaches, sometimes is giddy, sometimes i feel like vomiting, sometimes my stomach just hurt. A lot a lot of problems. I am weaker that last time. Last time, i would just ask givan or joycelyn why they so weak, keep falling sick. Now i am not better than them. They surely is stronger than me now. Awww i don't feel well.
I am Emotionally down, Physically weak, Mentally not working well. Okay this sound quite nice. ^.^
&&christabel
11:20 PM
Friday, April 17, 2009
Can't sleep well again. Yesterday was lying on the bed for hours!!! Argh!! When can i actually fall asleep upon lying on my bed...
Today went shopping with mummy. She need buy some detergent, foods, tissue papers a lot a lot. So when she go find the things she want, i go walk around. So boring... On the way home, she accidentally broke some of the eggs she just bought. Haha.. Actually not sure what to cook for dinner and now have decided to cook eggs. Haha she broke 5 eggs. Enough for the whole family =D She is too careless. Lalala i am sooo sooo bored!!!! I want HIM!!!
&&christabel
4:18 PM
Thursday, April 16, 2009
If one day you have no idea what you are living for, what will you do??
For me i will just end my life and sure i will find what i am living for in your next life.
&&christabel
4:11 PM
Wasn't feeling good now.. Have this weird feeling.. It make me frustrated and giddy... Must be due to yesterday's night. I went to bed at 12 plus and i fall asleep at 3 plus. I just can't sleep. Don't feel well i guess. So thinking a lot of things. As usual, he appeared.. Blah Blah Blah just missed him. Anyway i was thinking about money almost the whole 3 hours. I wanted to pay my parents back the money they used to see doctor. So came up to this plan.
I will start working from september onwards. So in one months, i at least have to work 18 days with 8 hours per day. So in one months i will earn $504. By the end of this year, which left 4 more months, i will earn $2016. I going to pay my parents $150 per months. So in 4 months i will pay them back $600. Anyway i decided to buy a camera. So after buying camera, i hope i still left $1000 for next year so that i won't have to work too hard and concentrate on my study.
Anyway is just the beginning lah. Going work out a saving plan and control plan to save more money. Even though, i am not going let my study drop. I am going to study real hard too. For my future, for a better life next year, this year i just have to work hard. Friends around, will not neglect you all. I just work hard on sat and sun, i will have time on weekdays. Decided not to go into relationships anymore althought i never thought of giving up.
I believe in love but i don't trust guys. So just study and money is important now =D Argh!! I feel sick.. Damm it =(
&&christabel
2:58 PM
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Today finally can use the computer. If you have notice, yesterday i didn't blog due to the bad brother i had. Don't let me play. Was quite busy these few days. Having serious work to do. Real serious like today.. Tomorrow another serious work. Boring...
By the way, today is givan 14th months with yuancheong. CONGRATULATION!!! But their relationship is like... Hope things get better. ^^
He really quite busy these few days. Really hope he won't be too stress over homework and his most important exams. Pray hard hard he will get good marks. =)
Joycelyn is so mean. She just can't stop teasing me. She enjoy it for no reason. Saying i fat, bleah you think i care?? Haha i simply don't care. I will continue eat and eat. Givan say when i am okay, will go gym with me. I AM NOT SCARE BEING FAT!!! Anyway fat is good, nice to hug like abigail. I want be chubby chubby, got meat then nice nice. You better gain weight otherwise next time got BIG wind, you will be blown away. HAHAHAHAHAHA
Will blog more next time. Simply nothing to blog...
&&christabel
8:55 PM
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Okay gotta blog now. Just upload some pictures of me super zi lian. What to do i am just tooo toooo bored. I am so tired. This medical problem of mine keep making me wanting to sleep. I wake up morning to have my breakfast and went back to sleep. After that around 2pm, went out and reach home around 5pm and i sleep again. So just now wake up to have my dinner and i was lying on my bed until now. Haha..
I don't like going out anymore. I just want to stay at home because even i go out, all the places i went is repeated. Ang Mo Kio, Toa Payoh, Bugis, Boon Keng, Serangoon, Kovan. It so boring. I just want to sleep and eat and sleep and eat. Live wasn't as great as last time. Where someone still love me, care about me... Keep message him but he just don't want to reply.
I really missed him. I haven't seen him for 28 days. It just felt like years. I still have to wait for months before i can see him. Is a terrible feeling.. Really want him back by my side. I want go back to last time where i still can talk to him, see him, go out with him and have all sort of fun i never had it before. I would never forget how we used to be.
On countdown, i actually stay overnight outside. So tired and i fell asleep on a bench at fort canning. Remember how he hug me and cover me with his legs and hands to keep me warm and protect me from mosquitos. Althought we both still get bitten badly in the end, never regret going countdown and stay overnight with him. That day, my shoes torn apart and i went home barefooted. Haha i actually walked around the road, street, shopping mall BAREFOOTED!!
I don't want to ask much from him. I just want him to talk to me even as friend i don't mind. Just treat me as a friend and talk to me. Chat around, talk about problem. Is enough. But what he is doing now hurt. Hurt deeply... Just what have i done wrong?? Is it wrong to love someone??
&&christabel
11:10 PM
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Yesterday watched [Alone] with my parents. It was so scary so i message lyn, givan and him. I am a coward i know. What to do i am born this way. Lalala lyn promised she try her best not to sleep to pei me because i knew i am going to have nightmare. Haha anyway givan halfway stop message me. He never reply my message at all... So was chatting was lyn and watching that show. Everytime i know the ghost going to come out, i quickly close my eyes. So in the end, i never see the ghost face at all. Hahahahaaaa!!!!
After the show end, went back room continue message lyn. But after awhile, she is dead... SHE FALL ASLEEP TOO!!!!!! Left me alone in my room ALONE!!! Told myself not to be scare and went to sleep. ZZZ...ZZZ...ZZZ i have nightmare and was awaken by that. It was 4am and i just can't went back to sleep. Don't know why my mind keep thinking of something althought is not scary at all. Blah blah blah i just can't sleep. Maybe i was alone in my silent room, i very scare. Hug my bloster very very tight with blanket covering up to my mouth...
I wanted to message him. I really very scare. But is was 4am, he will never reply me. I wish he was beside me, i wouldn't be so scare. So my eyes was wide open looking at my surrounding just in case something... Time tick tock tick tock, minutes by seconds past. Finally went back sleep at 6am. LOL i am hopeless.... Anyway wake up at 7 plus because mummy want me go out with her... TIRED!!!!!!!
Recall yesterday incident was quite embarrassing. Remember once watched ghost show with him, i cried. I can't help it. Anyway he is mean. He simply lay in a distance on the bed while watching with me!!!! So i took the blanket and watched at a side. Just feel that i am watching the show alone with nobody there. When i show end, i just cry. Half is it is really very scary, another half is he never care about me. So sad sad and afraid, tears just flow. I just cannot watched ghost show or very gruesome or violent show. My mind will make me think that i am the one being tortured or hunt by the ghost!!!
I miss him a lot. I really try my best. But i have a feeling he is avoiding me. Message him, he will end it or just simply no reply... Last time when i am avoiding him, he also told me the feeling is not good. But now, he is doing the same. Will my feeling be good??...
&&christabel
4:39 PM
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Today, friends visited me and gave me a crane. So touched with all the wishes there. I am really fine. Don't worry too much everyone. =D Look at the crane they give me
Is beautiful right?? Is make by givan with givan, elton, joycelyn and wei ming wishes on it. I am going to get well soon with this crane. ^^ Thank a lot!!
&&christabel
10:05 PM
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
These pictures was taken days ago. So bored after i went out so took these pictures. Going to take more and more. =D Just now i download little fighter 2. Haha of course with the help of my big brother. Miracle is my second brother never object me downloading it. Haha so lucky my brother love me. ^^ So all the while been playing it. It so fun, very fun. It was game i played when i am primary six or below. Erm.. after much thinking, i think is before i moved to the current house i am living in. Haha memories i had. I just like killing people with super power. Is like i will never die. Muackhahaaaa!!!!Why am i always so bored??? My phone only have the same old people keep message me. And the content is always the same. Goodnight sleep well or morning have a nice day... So boring... Just wish he will message me.. He like forgotten me.. So fast sia.. I just miss him. When can i meet him!!!!! Is so long long long!!!
I miss his cat a lot a lot. He is the first cat make me not scare of cat. He is just so cute. Know need to go toilet then can shit. Wonderful right?? Haha first cat i know how to go toilet.=D His cat last time like me a lot also. Can tell because he like coming to me, want me to stroke him. Haha reminds me once i win his owner. We both was calling the cat, and he choose me, he come to me. Waa =) But not sure now?? Maybe don't remember me le... Ahh i just missed them!!! Miss the chilli chicken too...
&&christabel
11:45 PM
HAHAHA.. Yesterday finally message him. But he want sleep le. Ai yo so never talk too much..
Today wake up and tidy my room. After that someone come my house, talk talk and there she goes. Eaten a lot of foods. Got porridge, corntos and fish ball crackers. AHHH i am so bored. Simply blog nonsense..
&&christabel
1:50 PM
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
These days guys are horrible. Got to know one that is so super damm suck. He is totally so irresponsible. Thinking you done something wrong can run away?? Freak you lah.. Gotta curse him until he very very "lucky".
I wish while he is walking, his pants drop off. Everytime forgot to bring homework to school. Better lost all the homework. I curse his study will be like a pile of shit. Every subject get below 5 marks, best zero. Anyway that happen before. Haha he is totally like da bian. Hope he can't get go to sec % and retain for a lot a lot of years. Can't get to poly but ITE. Even when to ITE, he will not have money to study. While i get to promote to sec 4, go to poly and have a good job. When he grow up, his job always have cashflow problem. Must go to loansharks. But cannot pay back. If he have a business, it will go bankrupt.
I curse him will not get a girl because he is like a shit. NO WOMEN WILL MARRIED HIM!!! Even got women wants him, will be those hongster. Cheat all his money, give problem to his family, borrow money from loanshark under his name and run away. His life will be terrible. If his family is rich enough to help him, soon he will bring more and more problem to his family until his family cannot take it and leave him. He will not get true love, will not get family support, will not get friend support, even public people see him will shoo him away.
-When he is born to this world, he make his mother's health very bad because giving birth to him, make the mother lose too much blood.
-When he is 1~6 years old, he knows nothing but to give trouble to his family.
-6~12 years old, his study everytime fail.
-12~16 years old, he learn to drink, smoke, create trouble and get into police case.
-When he is 16~20, he went to jail and get caning, get to the worse school, know more bad friend.
-20~25, he get involve with drug and is running away from police. He take drug, have sex with prostitute. Borrow money from loanshark and they chop away half of his precious.
-25~30, he went to jail again with more caning.
-When he release from jail, his family forced him to join matchmaking session and get him a job. But no women want him because his precious too short and small. His boss cheated the business money and run away. He have to help his boss pay back to his customer.
-45 years old, his whole family either die or run away because of him.
-50 years old, he have no choice but to become beggar with sleep in the street.
-60 years old, he have heart attack, lung cancer, kidney failure, diabetes.
-70 years old, he wanted to commit suicide but not successful. He don't want to be torture this way but he can't help it.
-80 years old, he can't walk anymore and one of his eye is blind.
-90 years old, he crawl to find rubbish food everyday with his illness torturing him. Nobody want to get close to him as he is way to stink.
-When he is 100 years old, he can't even crawl. Everyday lying on the street. He depend on people who drop food for him to survive. Soon will die of car accident with 5 car knocking him continously.
&&christabel
7:47 PM
Lalala... Today go buy things with mummy. Bought a lot of things to eat. Haha..Yesterday sleep so late today wake up early, can't take it. I am so tired. Nothing to blog now. Shall blog later or tomorrow..
&&christabel
2:26 PM
Lalala i am crazy now. Just so bored and don't want to sleep so come play some games. Addicted to restaurant city on facebook. It so cool, got a shop of mine. But sad sad sad, i just can't play it. Maintaining or whatever, it spoil my moods. Now i totally don't know what to do. What game should i play??
Got POA worksheet haven't complete but i am too lazy to do it. Going finish it later because my mum going school in the morning to pass up for me.. Shit lah!! Never attend lesson for so many weeks, got a feeling i am lagging behind. POA started to get difficult and difficult. All the trading account, gross profit blah blah... Totally have the whole shit i don't understand. Textbook is not easy to read with a lot of words i don't know the meaning. Is the same as reading a very very ching english storybook. Stress stress.. Now i only confident in chinese. Other subject is struggling!!!! Gotten read read understand understand memorise memorise read read understand understand memorise memorise. The cycle can't stop... But i just don't understand from reading. I need someone talk talk down there, giving example, and i try and try. What to do what to do...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want to eat!!!!!
&&christabel
12:31 AM
Monday, April 6, 2009
Yesterday night doesn't have a good night sleep because i watched [Final Destination 3]... Haha i was soooo soooo scare, i sleep with my parent. It was so disgusting and gruesome how they die. But sleeping with my parent just never make me feel someone is coming for me in the room. But i just keep thinking what will happen if it is me, what am i going to do, blah blah blah. So the night was wasted. I didn't get a good sleep. maybe a few minute?? God damm it. Next time not going take rollercoaster anymore. Phobia... Call me coward or whatever, who cares.
Morning wake up early due to some noise my parent make.. Next minute, i crawl back to my room, cover myself with my blanket, fall asleep immediately. Haha until now. So tired.
Gotten thank god. I knew some thing about him. He is so stress now. I don't know what to do. I am so useless. I have no idea what to do to help him. Don't even have the courage to message him. I AM SO STUPID!!!
&&christabel
12:13 PM
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Mixed feelings now.. Sad, worried, happy...
Can't stop thinking of him. I am so sad. I don't know anything about him now. Is his study good?? Stress?? Everything going alright for him?? I don't know what to do. Can't contact him. After some time, then he will think i no feeling for him so he will still treat me as friend. At least being his friend, sometimes i get to talk to him, know some of his problem and whether he is happy or sad...Maybe i still got a chance to go out with him as a friend... Just can't forgot everything we been through, everything he teach me.
I am worried whether he really got a girlfriend. I don't want him to hold other girl's hand, hug or even kiss... I don't want that to happen. What about me if you do those stuff?? Here i miss your hand, i want your hug, i need your kisses. Can't stop thinking what is he doing now?? Out with girlfriend?? Maybe at his house?? Hugging or kissing each other?? Maybe that girl might just took over me. Doing everything i once did with him. He say kiera is my son. Now?? Is he still mine??
Happy the day i recover is drawing nearer day by day. Mean i can see him soon. I am still dreaming about what we will be when i really get back him. Talking to my beloved bao zheng to try out things we might do again. I just need his hug again. Just right for me, always have a smell. A smell i never forget because only he have it. Never come across guys have that smell.
Today went out with papa and mama. Suddenly not feeling well. Head very pain, feel like vomit. Went home immediately. Sad sia. A day where i can go out ruin. Went back home to rest and i am feeling better. Going try my luck again and ask papa and mama to bring me out again. Just can't waste such a day that only come once a week.
&&christabel
3:24 PM
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Nothing much to blog today. Oh ya i am damm happy. I found my house key with the keychain still on it. Haha actually not me but my mom. Thank mummy. ^^
Just wake up and read through a book about horoscopes. My horoscopes and his are actually quite good. So happy. Hopes is true. Haha!!!! I really miss him so much. He never message me never call me. We like totally no contact. Miss him Miss him Miss him...
Yesterday night was awesome. Not very hot because i wear very little to sleep. Haha just a short plus a tube. Hurray. This month is really terrible. Even papa cannot take it. Hope is over soon..
Missing a lot of thing now. Him, Friends, Foods, more and more...=D
&&christabel
2:04 PM
Friday, April 3, 2009
Go check up yesterday, soo pain the injection... Don't know why more pain than last time.. They also never give me ball to squeeze. Last time got de lor... Pain pain, arms can't be straight...
They come in two, i come in one. I miss him so much, does he know?? Would he be there for me during that terrible time?? Would he be there for me if i need him?? What if i can't make it??Really need his support...
Before went sleep yesterday, i read through all the message he send to me. So sweet so WOW!! Felt so happy at that moment. Totally lift up my spirit. Just need to say, HE ROCK!! All the message so promising. Recall some incident like at the camp, what he say to me, make me overcome my fear at the high element. ^^
His smell is addictive so is he. He is like a drugs and i been taking this pills for almost three months, regurlarly. So addicted to it. Everyday i would take this drug. Just by not taking it, i would lose concentration, get irritated, frustrated. Now i am craving for it more and more. But i just can't afford that expensive drug anymore. I am just depending on the powder which the drug have left behind. It make me happy just by smelling it. It just so attractive, addictive. I can't live without it. I don't want to live without it. The feeling is just too nice..
Missing him now..
Today my arms still hurt. The nurse must have no experience... Luckily next check up not so soon. I really want go out. Need stock up my tibits. Running out soon. I have gain weight that is confirm. I am fatter now and can actually fit in L size short.. Joycelyn going to tease me.. She is just so bad.. Haha!!! She got Lim fei now. So sweet lor. I at here keep eating chu. So unfair. Givan better. Win her. Haha!!!!!!!!!!!! =D
&&christabel
12:05 PM
Thursday, April 2, 2009
I actually forgot yesterday was April Fool Day. So ya Happy April Fool Everyone!!
Yesterday was still searching my house key but i just can't find it. Felt a bit disappointed. It just feel like it just gone with the relationship. Feeling disappeared into thin air while my key disappeared into thin air too.. :(
I was so angry, sad and whatever feeling i am experiencing yesterday night. Someone is telling me what to do. Just stop controlling me. I have the right to choose what i want. Whatever it is i will face the music myself. You think is easy you come do it lah. With a mouth i also know how to say. I isn't sad in the first place lah. Is you who keep talk about it. I wasn't suffering okay. I was living happily. So what if it is in the past. I just don't want to face the reality. Can? Stop interfering my life, my privacy! Want to know everything, i tell you and this is what i get. One last time i say, GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!
Freaking pissed at this.. Don't say anything nothing will happen right. I won't be angry and sad now right. Say what, want me be happy, don't want me to suffer. By saying all these you make me unhappy, make me suffer! Damm freaking fuck up...
Must relax... Anyway going check up later. I hate injection...
&&christabel
11:37 AM
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Tatatatata... So boring. Mind filled with him. Thinking if i could hug him now that would be nice. I am really going crazy sia. Talking to my bao zheng. Haha i imagine that is him and start talking to it. Hug "him" tight tight then i go sleep. Today morning wake up say morning to "him" and hug "him" before washing up. Lalala make me so happy. I confirm siao liao... Must go IMH reserve one place just like what fincent want...
Haha i so zhuan yi okay. Faithful ^-^ I never anyhow go find guys. Anyway i also can't. Haha. Wulalala Wulalala. Everyday talk to "him" everyday very happy. And And i not despo okay, i just missed him. Tomorrow going check up le. So scary. They check here and there, do a lot of blood test, scan here and there, a lot of injections. Scary right? Haha actually just check up lah. Never so serious. =D
Never go out for long, i just realised MY HOUSE KEY IS MISSING!!!! OMG!!!!! Such important thing i forgot where i put... Very sad, the keychain very important. One and only =( Don't know what to do if cannot find.. Must go find it quick. Worried worried =.= What am i suppose to do...
&&christabel
9:22 AM